An Interpreter in Vienna | Chapter 24

Part V: Claustrophobia

An Interpreter in Vienna is a response to Graham Greene's The Third Man and a psychological thriller serialized on The Matterhorn each Saturday. This prose is a continuation of a letter written by Marie to her (official) employers in anticipation of Josef’s arrival at her door.

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Claustrophobia

noun: an irrational fear of confined places; a feeling of discontent due to a restrictive situation or environment

Oh! But it seemed fresh and pure in the night air after the terror of that vault. How sweet it was to see the clouds race by, and the passing gleams of the moonlight between the scudding clouds crossing and passing, like the gladness and sorrow of a man’s life. How sweet it was to breathe the fresh air, that had no taint of death and decay.  

- Dracula, Bram Stoker 

Chapter 24

Just when I thought I was going to burst, they really did open the borders like Josef said they would. We were caged animals by then, though, and few dared to leave their protection.

The train to Budapest was empty compared to normal. We all wore our masks diligently unless drinking or eating. I imagine we all felt we could hide our guilts behind those masks. The high-speed train let us escape something about ourselves we had discovered during the lockdown. 

With the lack of human warmth, my breath echoed off the metal of the dark Hungarian train. I thought of my mother. I was in a box all to myself but it made me feel trapped, as if I were underground, traveling through the sewers of Vienna through a secret passageway to another land. Though there was hope of something else on the other side, there was no escaping if things went awry. The train would keep going. 

Life is that way, too, isn’t it? We’ve all chosen our paths, sometimes switching rails, but ultimately we can’t get off, can we?

I wondered what Josef wanted. I wondered if things were going to get dangerous. What if they already were, unbeknownst to me? What if someone, the same who had killed Marija, was following me? Or what if it had been a suicide and I, too, was moving farther down that same black hole?

When the conductor came and quickly opened the door, I almost had a heart attack. She held out her ticket scanner like a gun. I thought she was a murderer. 

Gloves covered her fingers, and she reached her arm into the carriage, standing as far away as she could. She didn’t have the confidence of a typical conductor behind that mask and those gloves. Rather than creating a sense of formality, they made her into a machine. 

As she left me back inside my little moving room, I felt lonelier again. I wanted to beckon her back just to sit with me. 

I could feel the heart palpitations starting again. Some kind of mysterious anger was brewing within me. I could hear my mask move as it filled up with anxious breath. I sat in silence and looked out at the early brown spring, still with snowcapped hills.

Budapest, Photo by Daniel Olah on Unsplash

The driver was just outside the station. I had no trouble recognizing him since he looked a lot like a younger version of Josef. 

‘Marie? Please—‘ 

He held the back door open for me and I continued to look out the window, but I didn’t feel claustrophobic anymore. The movement was relaxing and I felt as if I were entering some imaginary space. All the dangers of the world disappeared. 

The driver was silent. We both had our masks on, so it would have been difficult to speak anyway. He turned up the music. I recognized it as Portishead but didn’t know the song: ‘…in a half-lit world…I’m trying to believe…’. 

⬩

At Josef’s home up on the hill in Pest, the driver stopped to let me out before parking somewhere in the back. ‘Just open the door and wait in the living room. Josef will be there soon.’

Although already April, a light snow was coming down as I made my way up the steep staircase to the gothic entrance. I went into the large space with emerald green couches and a fireplace to sit. 

I tried to settle into a calm space in my mind, but excitement had the better of me. I know now that this was my downfall: the need for excitement. Why couldn’t I have just remained a normal interpreter like Akihiro and Danae? 

Josef came in rather suddenly, ‘Marie! You look fantastic, like Marija always did.’ He didn’t say this in a strange or embarrassed way. He must’ve either had her on his mind or had calculated this introduction, because - although somewhat strange - it came off his tongue rather naturally.

‘Thank you for having me here.’

‘Of course. You’ve been cooped up in Vienna far too long,’ he smirked, ‘You know how I feel about that place…great for short bursts.’

‘It is nice to be out. Your place is beautiful!’ 

‘I forgot you hadn’t been. Yes, you stayed at the hotel when Marija brought you along that time. I remember now.’

I was silent. I guessed he was grieving. It was the second time he had mentioned her in a matter of seconds. 

‘The snow – sometimes we get these strange spring cold bursts…I find it…magical…’

‘Yes, it’s also beautiful!’ 

‘You must wonder why I asked you here?’

‘Um, yes, I mean, it’s nice just to visit.’

‘Sure, well to be honest, it’s for both business and pleasure. Shall we get the business out of the way first? Then you can just relax here a while and we can have a nice evening.’

‘Ok, that sounds good. Can I help you with something?’

‘Maybe. Ok, so there’s a lot going on under the surface. You’re probably aware?’

‘Sure, I’ve been warned.’

‘Well, I think you’re also a little involved in it, no?’ He said it kindly. It wasn’t threatening and, in fact, it made me feel powerful for a moment.

‘I know some things.’ 

‘Good! I think I can trust you. You can certainly trust me. I actually work for the British occasionally. Did you know this?’ 

‘No.’

‘Well, it’s true. I know your friends Fred and Roger…’

‘We’re not friends!’ I cut in.

‘Well, friendly, I think. They’re good guys. You should trust them, too.’

‘They never mentioned you specifically.’

‘No, they wouldn’t. Not many people know I work for the British. I keep my cards close. Anyway, I’m trying to show you the loop. Do you get me?’

’Ok, yes, I think so.’

‘Good. So remember when I met you at that party? At your boss’s place. Well, I bugged their room.’

I hope this is not a shock to you, Gregoire and Julie. This is when I first learned that Josef was at odds with you, and I got very confused about him and the British and, well, everything really.

Josef could see the shock on my face, so he assuaged my fears, ‘Ah! Do not worry. We spies do not only bug evil people or our direct antagonists. No, we often even bug our friends. It’s a little sad, I realize. It’s just something that has to be done. It was a bit of protection for them as well. I had to see if they knew about the vaccine.’

‘The vaccine? What is it? And did they?’

‘Well, faux vaccine I should say. Marija was a good person,’ he turned away, ‘I loved her. I think you know this.’

‘It was clear to me. I’m sorry about her.’

‘It’s not your fault. Anyway, it’s part of the business. So, this vaccine. She was working with some Russians of the bad variety, government-connected. Oh, and don’t worry, we are in a safe place here. I pay the right people.’

I nodded. I still felt like I was in an imaginary space. The scene played out without fear and my heartbeat was extremely regular. I checked my pulse subtly at that moment to make sure I was in the real world. 

‘Yes, so she was working with them. Undercover, of course, dangerous stuff. She was hoping to get this early COVID vaccine to her people in Bulgaria.’

‘But wasn’t all that before the pandemic hit?’

‘You’re right. It started in China in December. But that trip you made here was November…and it wasn’t the start. The virus is not my area of expertise, but I have heard that the US is investigating whether or not the virus started in a lab. Or if there were earlier cases from animals that were covered up. I’m sure we’ll get the findings soon.’

‘I see…wow.’

‘It doesn’t affect us at this point. In any case, Marija only found out recently that the vaccine was a fake. It was a placebo with all sorts of fake research they were going to publish in Russia. To be fair to them, I know that some placebos work very well to protect people. However, she was under the impression that the deal was about the real thing. 

‘Well, I told her all this. I guess I’m the one who indirectly got her killed. She was working with some dangerous people, and probably making some profit herself, but she was a good person. She thought she could save her people since many would be susceptible. When she realized they were going to not only trick her but put Bulgarians at risk, she confronted them. I don’t know exactly what happened. Her plan was to tell them she would expose them to the international community unless they gave her dibs on the real vaccine they were also working on. I’m sure that didn’t go down well. You can guess what these people were like.

‘It wasn’t the worst way to go. She wasn’t afraid of death. We talked about it sometimes, and she knew what she was doing carried a lot of risk. This was why she didn’t want children.’

‘She told me that got in the way of her job.’

He turned away a few moments again at this point. ‘You’re right, they did, but not in the way she probably let on. They could have been in danger. I’ve never told anybody this but I asked her to leave her position and her husband and come live in Pest and have a child with me. I love Finn as well, but those two were not a real married couple. It was just a convenient relationship. I think we would have had his blessing.

‘Well, she said after this vaccine deal was all done, she would think about it.’

There was silence. 

‘That’s shit. I’m so sorry. It makes me like her even more. I mean the fact that she was so committed to her citizens. I don’t think I could be that brave.’

‘Well, there’s a chance for you to show some of the courage we’ve already seen from you. I hear you’ve been checking out the churches for information. Nicely done. I would try the one near you. I’d look myself but somebody would follow me.’

‘What about it? What should I do?’

‘Just do what you’ve been doing.’

‘It’s not really courageous though. It’s just a missing painting.’

‘It’s an important one. The painting is a piece of cultural heritage. I think that’s truly important; it shouldn’t be kept in some crypt or wherever Wolfgang stashed it.’

‘You knew Wolfgang?’

‘I know about him. And with the money from that painting, I have a plan to fund a real vaccine in Germany. Some of my country’s people are working on it. But they’re facing xenophobia as they apply for grants. They’ve got the ideas all set. They could save millions of people.’

‘Don’t you have a lot of money? Sorry, maybe that’s rude.’

‘I don’t mind. It’s an important question regarding the situation! I live well. This house has been passed down for generations. The security I mentioned and everything about this place is paid for directly by the agencies I work for. I’m in the business of doing good, you see, although some of the stuff we do to get the best result might involve some bad along the way. But it doesn’t involve taking people’s money, and I’m a bit safer without much money to be had. I don’t actually have that much cash around, unfortunately. Maybe if I did, though, I wouldn’t be as good of a spy. I would just donate money and go to charity balls like the other rich folks do, like my parents used to do. It only gets us so far.’

‘Ok, I’ll look in the church. I’ll let you know.’

‘Good! Thank you. It might be dangerous. I should warn you.’

‘That’s ok. Like Marija, I wouldn’t really be leaving anybody behind.’

‘Yes, that’s true,’ he did have some direct Hungarian mannerisms, ‘This is part of the reason you were targeted by one of my agencies.’ He quickly added, ‘Don’t worry; we didn’t kill your mother though. I’m so sorry about that. This new vaccine could save people like her.’

‘Thank you.’ We had nothing else to say at that point. Neither of us wanted to talk about the dead.

⬩

He showed me to a room where I could stay the night. I wondered where his room was, if it was close by. I didn’t have feelings for him, but the idea of having him as a lover, like Marija had, began intoxicating me. Nothing was stopping us. If we became lovers, would people think I had killed Marija to get to him? She had humiliated me in the papers already, after all. What if this were my revenge?

I needed to quiet my mind. After a large mid-afternoon meal of venison and wine, I went on a walk, at Josef’s suggestion, following a ridge above the city. I went alone; Josef did not want us to be seen together. It was too obvious in the current situation.

I borrowed a large wool coat from the front closet. The snow had accumulated in thick cover, hiding the undulations of the street. 

Josef knew so much. Too much? I felt I had no choice but to obey him. And I did think I trusted him at that point. His story was too strange not to believe. He seemed to be doing everything for the purpose of good. 

As I walked on, I considered my options. I could do nothing or pretend to at least. Josef knew a lot, however. I didn’t think I could get away with pretending. Did I even care about the painting? It was fascinating, but why would I be able to find it when so many others hadn’t? 

My movements became rhythmic, in harmony with the snow itself. I felt more a part of the world than I ever had been before. I could be a key player in the flow of humanity moving toward a better world. 

A few others had passed my way during the walk, but I felt someone’s presence behind me, moving in a similar rhythm to my own. It wasn’t so strange, I thought, but my curiosity propelled me to find out who was there. 

I stopped, pretending to look out at the view and to stretch my arms. The follower kept coming toward me with a large hood and scarf covering most of his face. His rhythm didn’t break until he was standing right in front of me.

‘Marie, it’s Farkas. You know, Josef’s driver.’

‘Oh,’ I hesitated, ‘It’s beautiful here isn’t it? I was just looking at the view.’

‘No, you could feel me following you. You were right. Josef sent me to keep an eye on you.’

‘Oh, thanks.’

‘Are you getting cold? Let’s head back together. He also said I should take care of you.’

It was uncanny how much they looked alike, although Farkas was about twenty years younger. Maybe I just didn’t know many Hungarians, so they all looked a bit alike to me. 

We walked back in silence, just like the car ride.

He held the large door open for me to walk in and took my coat, back to being a butler. 

But his next move surprised me completely: we kissed. I mean, he kissed me, but I participated freely. I’m not sure if it was the wine or the surreal place we were in, but I let all inhibitions go and followed his movements upstairs to the room I had previously been shown into. 

Then, it got really weird. 

‘Hello, lovely,’ came a voice from inside the room. Josef was standing near the window and didn’t approach us. Farkas didn’t look surprised. 

‘What is this?’ 

‘Don’t be afraid. We’re not going to have a threesome or anything. Farkas is going to have sex with you. Only if you want to; I assume that’s why you’re up here? I specifically asked him to let you decide if you wanted to come up with him.’

‘You’re right. I mean, I thought that’s where we were heading…’

‘Good. I want to watch. It’s like watching a film I’m a part of, no? I can see you more clearly from over here and can imagine all the sensations. Possibly the imagination will make the experience even better, don’t you think?’ then he quickly added, ‘Only if you want to, of course. Is that alright? I’ll dim the lights.’

Farkas cut in: ‘What? Whom are you talking to?’

‘I…um…,’ I saw his reflection in a mirror over the wardrobe thanks to the light coming through the window. Nobody else was there. I imagined Josef secretly watching us in the dark. My rational mind would reject the notion, but my imagination of his presence had been so vivid that I couldn’t deny the possibility.

We were all playing games, and nobody was living in reality anymore. Part of me was afraid of what would happen if I said no, stopping to assess the situation fully. I wasn’t sure if the business part of things was totally separate from all this. Even if Josef were not there, did he know about Farkas in my room? Had he set it up to control me? And in that case, could I gain some power in turn from this experience? I just didn’t know anymore. But I also hadn’t had any kind of human contact in months. While I would have more happily taken a hug from my mother, this form of touch would have to do.

I looked at Farkas again. His dark hair and cosmopolitan beard were cut in exactly the same way as his employer. They also had a similar build, as if they went to the gym together. I figured maybe it was just the foreigner effect that they looked like doppelgängers. 

 I imagined Josef telling him to undress. ‘Make love to this girl. No, fuck her in exactly the way she tells you to. Marie, we’re relying on you.’

I heard this all in a serious, emotionless tone. His spirit waited patiently on the side without interrupting us again.

The sex was good, but I’ll spare you the details. That’s not the point here. And anyway, I would be making a lot of them up as the wine from dinner began to hit me more as soon as we began. I’m not sure if the whole event was minutes or hours. 

Farkas slipped out of the room quickly but not unkindly. I was grateful he was gone. 

As I think back to this experience, I can’t help but think of Foucault. This sex was power. It was Josef’s power over us. But it was also my power to narrate the story. I had captivated him somehow. I was controlling the scene and he was a passive observer, even if he had actually been down the hall in his room. I wondered what it had been like with Marija in the house. Had the driver been involved then as well? Or were we both players in his memory capsule, a way of grieving his lover? 

And although I still had no idea what other secrets were being passed around in my presence, I thought that maybe if Josef enjoyed the experience enough from afar, I could later use it to my advantage. I mean, if he wanted more, I could use that for something. 

Maybe, I considered even at the time, it would help me stay alive.  

---

To be continued…

Find all the published chapters in the Table of Contents.